Hello!

This is my stupid pathetic space.

Love, love, love

"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep.

Not fuck, like in those movies.

Not even have sex.

Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase.

But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating.

So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane."

-- John Green, Looking For Alaska.

I am not lost, I just don't know what I want.

Title courtsey to sis Maria :)

Hey you. You're definitely is not my Mr. Perfect and maybe I'm not your Miss Perfect too. I used to believe that I can build a life and a future with you. You were so amazing in every single way.. the kind of guy that any girl would want to marry someday. But I guess you're too stubborn & scared to break free and run... while I'm too brittle & impatient to hold on.

Honestly, I've been thinking a lot about something.. or accurately about someone. I don't know if it's love or what since I am fickle minded like this. I can't even define what I feel right now. But all I do know is that I sorta fall in "like" with someone.

A friend once told me that it's not wise fo me to jeopardize what I have with you for a crush or someone I fall in "like" with. Well, to some extent I kinda agree with her. But I can't be keeping you around just because I can't find my Mr. Right hence settle with you; my Mr. 2nd Right. It is not and never will be fair.

It really breaks my heart when you told me that you love me. But I don't think that I am capable of loving someone right now. Not even loving myself. Yes, I am pathetic like this.

Life sucks. Haihhh