I have lost myself within everything and it is really painful. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know why I can't cry anymore. All I ever felt was that sharp pain on my chest, and how it was difficult to take a deep breath. And I don't think that I want to get married anymore. At least not that soon.
I have lost my focus too. For the time being, I should focus on graduating this year! I want to get my ass out of this place. I have always thought that this place will be my second home. But I can't stand being here anymore. Maybe I should start being lame.. lame life and lame future planning. Graduate, continue PhD somewhere else.. anywhere but not here, get a job lepas tu bela kucing ke pokok ke etc. Marriage is no longer in my mind.
I just can't.
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